I went to school to become a Youth Minister. Graduated in 5 years from Ouachita Baptist with a degree in Biblical Studies. Through the years of college, I had steadily been involved in various church activities and held all sorts of church titles, thinking that I was building experience.
I leave the church where I was at doing all sorts of things because I moved to
and married the most beautiful girl in the world. She was about to take a job at a school and shortly thereafter, I got a job teaching in the same school. I had thought that God had called me to bi-vocational ministry, because the church where I was at didn’t pay because they couldn’t. All the while I still felt God calling me to church ministry. I was gonna have it all. Little Rock
Shortly after taking my job at the school with my lovely wife, I discover that there is a church opening for a Youth Pastor. Thinking that this was the hand of God, I immediately threw my name in the ring. And I got the job! Things were amazing! So, I thought. What followed was a 9 month period of fighting, defending my job, pain, and heartache. Every two weeks I was defending my job and every other month I was having to deal with issues that were already dealt with in the previous month. I was lied about, undermined, and literally ambushed. One time I went to meet a parent and a couple of kids to discuss some of their concerns. I walked into the room to find that there were about three deacons and 8 parents with the entire youth all looking at me, voicing their “concerns.” I felt like I was about to be shot. Then the church ran into some financial problems and stated that me, and the children’s minister could no longer be paid. The constant lack of leadership and in-fighting in the church which seemed to be directed constantly at me began to take its toll, and in June of that year, I left the church. Crushed, feeling that God is not calling me to ministry in a traditional church.
A year or so later, I become Chapel Pastor at my school. Finally, I thought, this is what God wanted me to do. To be a non-traditional pastor, and for 3 years, I was doing what I felt God calling me to do. This was the beginning of new things. But, after 3 years, it was time for me to step down. And it seemed that God was silent. I would pray for what to do next, and he would not respond. But then he started guiding me to something that I felt He was not calling me to do. Over this past year, I have gotten to do pulpit supply (fill in for a vacant preacher) and speak at a revival. I’ve gotten to be involved in some amazing ministries (creating a CBF of Arkansas group page making connections), as well as give help to a new pastor, and wanting to work with him to help grow his church. But through it all, God has shown me that He is directing me back to pastoral ministry.
And this is where it gets kind of frustrating. I don’t really know where to begin. I’m looking at schools to pursue graduate work, but I don’t know where to connect to get my name out there to churches. At times I feel that God is holding back and I feel that I’m ready. But I don’t want to rush it, but I want to know! So this is where I’m at-God calling me to be a pastor but not knowing where to go or what to do.
Have you ever felt God call you to do something specific, and you’re not sure where to begin? Do you ever get frustrated with God? Impatient? If you don’t mind, leave a comment and let me know whether I’m crazy, or that I’m not the only one who feels this way sometimes.